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Apr. 8th, 2005 12:13 am

my past weeks

 eigg - there for easter, very beautiful, i had flu but still managed a hike up a big hill and along a ridge with stunning views of the mountains of muck. started with chocolate again easter sunday, for some reason wasn't as momentus as usual. one day of glorious sunshine, many days of lovely people.

 this week has been

 working, annaing, forest pubbing, sleeping shopping, anna concerting, pubbing, bryony and dvding, sleeping pancaking, beltane practicing, beltane stoned-becoming, sleeping working, too lazy to climb jo's strairsing, sleeping working, beltane organisers meetinging, sleeping working, beltane glowing, bryony and henrying, sleeping volunteering, beltane shopping, beltane fish-making, jee and tessa phoning and about to be sleeping

and my next week?

volunteering, working, beltane peopleing, sleeping beltane shopping, working, sarahing, sleeping sleeping, travel planning, beltane practicing, sleeping volunteer project launching, oetkb civic receptioning, sarahing, sleeping day tripping, beltane practicing, sleeping working, beltane cloak-making, sleeping working, beltane fish-making, sleeping

can you tell that some thing are taking over my life? i'm basically living beltane cept sleeping and working, and the occassional seeing of a friend. of course i missed out eating, i thought if i included it every time it was done it would take away from the point of the entry - eg beltane is clearly creeping up on my time schedule dramatically.

time is an odd thing. on the 3rd of may i am leaving the country, hopefully not back for four months(yeah i really need to plan some more of that - i have 5 weeks in europe with no idea where i wanna be or what i wanna do). when i get back it is just about time for me to start uni. i'll only be living at home for another three weeks. weird. even though its hardly like i live here at the moment, to actually have a place where i live full-time will be weird. i'm kinda settling into my life at the moment, but considering how unsettled that life is its a bit mixed up. anyway.

sleepy now.

Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: bright eyes - nothing gets crossed out

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Apr. 3rd, 2005 11:49 pm

i sometimes copletly forget how good it feels t get nice and stoned every now and again. i also sometimes forget how fucking flrtacious i can be

then all at once i remeber agin.

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Feb. 22nd, 2005 08:11 pm

my brother is actually going to get married in august. to a kyrgez woman called shirin who none of the rest of us have met yet. and we might all get a train out there for the wedding, can you imagine? me, my parents, robin, and my sisters on the trans-siberian railway for a week. insane.

Current Mood: scaredscared

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Feb. 6th, 2005 11:39 pm

so i feel like i haven't updated in a while. happy new year everybody!

the first month of this beautiful year have proved pretty well for me i think. lots of silly flirty fun, which i should maybe calm down soon. and the beginnings of a couple new hobbies - i started contact improvisation dance classes, which i maintain is more than rolling around on the floor with strangers. and a few days ago i bought a fire-staff, after falling in love with playing with fire at bilston last week.

new year, new beginnings, new people - forest is once again spreading ground for new lovely folk. as well as the golden oldies who remain as fabulous as ever.

some things don't change, some feelings never go away, either comforting or scary, i can't decide. time moves on, people grow, expand, but they don't change. they just go on to the next stage of their path. but burying your head in other things always helps, helps to hide yourself from yourself. sometimes you can loose yourself and forget the parts of your life you wish were different, even when you know that the thoughts are floating down there somewhere, you're just trying to ignore things that would seem fucked up if you thought about it.

and sometimes amy writes a load of bullshit that she doesn't understand at the time but which will at some point click.

Current Mood: ditzyditzy
Current Music: damien rice - delicate

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Dec. 15th, 2004 09:07 pm the new year thingy

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?:
took mushrooms… left school… went to a rave… got pierced… stayed in my house alone… walked out of assembly… kissed boys older than my brothers…

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?:
they weren’t resolutions but hopes. And yes probably for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:

4. Did anyone close to you die?:

5. What countries did you visit?:
england and wales

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?:
a digital camera… I wish I had photos from all these memories

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
11th june, hardest day of life… the next two weeks also…

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Having the guts to leave school, staying in my house alone

9. What was your biggest failure?:
leaning too much on people, letting myself slip, being scared shitless of a mouse

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
just a wee touch of flu… injury all my own drunken fault

11. What was the best thing you bought?:
umm… lots and lots of chocolate and vodka?

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?:
all who put up with me – have to say special thanks to tessa and sarah for certain conversations too…

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?:
don’t wanna name any names - but that minister made me appalled. And then that boy made me wee bit down… oh and old boss made me both.

14. Where did most of your money go?:
train fares and food

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
leaving school… tessa

16. What songs will always remind you of 2004?:
all damien rice
maroon 5 – she will be loved
the middle & all other of our sing-a-long songs
south pacific songs!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i) ...happier or sadder?: happier
ii) thinner or fatter?: fatter
iii) richer or poorer?: richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
adventures, protests, shifts at forest, seeing school-friends,

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
drunk communication

20. How will you be spending Christmas?:
with family, same as always

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?:
erm possibly.

23. How many one night stands?:
me? Never

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?:
I managed to un-hook myself from tv this year… but Wednesday double bills of SATC with tessa do rule…

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
don’t think so

26. What was the best book you read?:
the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
All I like now, I’ve stolen the best of my friend’s music tastes…. elliot smith, bright eyes, iron and wine, damien rice, bic runga, grateful dead, devendra banhart, azure ray, emiliana torrini, poe, aimee mann

28. What did you want and get?:
good grades, a job

29. What did you want and not get?:
sure-ness of what I’m doing

30. What was your favourite film of this year?:
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, thirteen, fight club, cabaret

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
16, ran down hills and bonded drunk with mikee, was incredibly hungover

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
a rock

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?:
more personal than ever before… still not verging on fashion

34. What kept you sane?:
friends… especially with the insanity of my summer… thanks guys

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
ermm… uhhhh…. I believe I didn’t fancy any…

36. What political issue stirred you the most?:
nuclear weapons, refugees (wahoo blunketts resigned!)

37. Who did you miss?:
until summer…. Edinburgh people…. Since summer… school people, tessa and andrew…

38. Who was the best new person you met?:
sarah, chris & foresters

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
do not take mushrooms the night after getting your nipple pierced

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I get knocked down, but I get up again – nothing’s ever gonna keep me down
I spent the summer wasting, the time has passed so easily

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: knack - my sharona

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Dec. 14th, 2004 12:54 am

matthew came home from kyrgyzstan yesterday... amidst the trying to download russian pop onto the computer and incredible jetlag, he's been trying to explain his girlfriends religion to me and mum and dad. so far all i've got from it is that they beleive in a prophet who was driven around edinburgh in an automobile in 1913. this shall be interesting if they do get married soemtime next year, as is being discussed. i don't know what i think about having a brother settled somewhere so far away, it's way too expensive for regular visits. but he's very happy there and i suppose that's all thats important.

it's so good to see robin all the time. like friday night - the evening he organised for the che went so well. poems, face-painting, political sing-a-long songs, faery-tales (some sang too...), red wine, music, games. when lots of people had left there was a beautiful impromptu jam - didgerido, thumb piano, guitar, drums, voices, dancing. then mr tim thumb piano man walked me to forest. more dancing, more drinking and covering many many people in blue spirals from my face.

work the next day included a chat about me being more than an hour late twice in one week... oopsey. but it's all cool. work night out that evening, not the most insane dinner possible but our end of the table were getting close to it. oh and i was in a skirt, shockhorror - incredibly odd for me. then off to forest for a real fabulous night. the very were very good, utterly manic dancing as i love it. had to take my tights off as was so hot, tessa ended up leaving with them... i'm actually finding it pretty hard to work out what i did for six hours. i know it included smoking a lot of pot (well to me it was a lot). oh and lots of smoking of the hookah too, i've never enjoyed smoking something so much... it's so smooth and tastes so good. oh and i randomly bumped into callum again it was funny. well, it was in my state. between about five and six me and nat kept switching from almost falling asleep on the mattress's and getting up to dance for all the good songs, while sarah and darren were curled up and asleep hands and feet tangled....awww! taxi back to sarahs with them and a few hours sleep before waking up for work still stoned.

the night before i'd planned to stay at bryony so my shoes, trousers, toothbrush and mobile were all there. eek. at sarahs house i have a pair of burgundy velvour trousers i wear for pjamas... so i wore them (i could not wear the skirt back to work the morning after..) and no shoes - the sandals were unwalkable in. so i went for the bus like this and got on the bus holding a five pound note - 'sorry i absolutly have no change' and thankfully the bus driver was lovely and just waved me on. so i got off on princes street and wandered into work stoned, shoeless and wearing pjamas.

thankfully it was only a four hour shift so i survived. that evening was the roller-disco and 'do' at forest so i was back to use of lots of energy skating around... more hookah smoking then utterly collapsing on a sofa downstairs to listen to music and poetry. a funny beginning of a conversation - 'hi ant, i'm amy... you don't know me... i've slept in your bed'

before this manic weekend was also good. tuesday went to cat's to find out all about working in australia, ended up staying over. then after work the next night saw people including robin and michelle at forest where i helped wrap mushrooms in tinfoil to hang from the ceiling - they made good decorations actually. stayed at sarahs then the next night TESSA CAME HOME. lots of us met up at forest and just lounged around on the matress with lots of good banter and catching-up-ness. speaking of tessa, apart from that night and a lovely trip to hendersons with her and monika on my lunch break, i really haven't seen enough of her yet... but i do have over month and everyone needs their turn.

Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: beth orton - love like laughter

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Dec. 10th, 2004 12:41 am

today my parents finally let me walk home from the station at midnight on my own. bloody hell, about time...

oh and tessa is home
andrew is also home
and i got free cake from susies diner
and the forest party is all this weekend
and a random che caberat celeidh thing tomorrow
and my work night out on saturday
and my brother comes back from kyrgyzstan on tuesday

amy must go sleep while she can

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: aimee mann - deathly

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Nov. 30th, 2004 12:17 am wow

i know people, especially andrew g s, have been trying to tell me this for ages, but in the last couple of days it's really hit me - i am so fucking lucky. by spring-time, as long as i work and save as much as i am at the moment, i'll have at least £1,500 to do with how i wish. so i can basically go where i like for a few months. i've pretty much accepted that the russia thing isn't right for me - to immerse myself in a secluded community for two months where i couldn't even communicate with the people (realistically there's no way i'd learn russian in time) is not what i need. now it's just a case of working out what i really want to do and making the most of my time. the thought of delaying my uni course is even floating through my mind - everyone is telling me that it's so important to gain life experience before settling down to four years of your life. now is the time to be free. wow, and i can be. it's exhilarating.
today was utterly hilarious at work. ryan came in, thankfully when my boss was out, and big cat and i were showing him around for ages, he was looking for a present for a lady back in the states... i put sparkles on him and when we were showing him the body butters he said the coconut one smelt good enough to eat... he asked cat if it was edible and obviously her sarcasm in the word 'yes' was too subtle for him... that picture may be in my head for a while, ryan with a glob of body butter on his tongue finding out for sure that it didn't taste as good as it smelt...
andrew g s should be coming over on friday to stay, a good long night of banter shall follow, i'm sure, which will be very cool. i'm sad i missed his trip to 'das kapital' last weekend.
last week was groovy... i went to work on wednesday planning to go home that evening but ended up staying till saturday... henry's on the wednesday night, we watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (bryony hadn't seen it before). while the two of them were snuggling up i sipped away at my bottle of wine... by the time the film was finished so was my bottle - i hadn't even realised i was drunk till i tried standing up and fell over. so interesting conversation ensued - drunk amy + sober bryony and henry = easy way for amy to blab a lot of silliness. crashed out on the sofa then up early for work....
thursday - evening met robin at his friend lou's flat to fix a table, eat yummy tofu & mushroom pie and joinm in with sober adult conversation, then back to ploughshare to watch monster (fucking scary film) and sleep.
friday - up early for the RST then work, then forest for hylton and some other's gig... lots of lovely people there but they all deserted me... found out i couldn't stay at bryony's as planned but was cool, hyltons flatmate still away so i got to stay in his room. joined in for a little busking on the pavement outside forest, which is utterly ridiculous as everyone knows i have the most horrendous voice... ah well. the back to the student accommodation for student chat and cards with lovely people... decided i needed to sleep-in so texted my dad at half three to say i wouldn't be going to the garvald christmas fayre the next morning. watched radiohead and sigor ros videos then off for much sleep...
saturday - was randomly woken by a formally dressed hylton, walked him to a posh hotel, then to forest for lunch and then to work, where i found as many jobs as possible away from selling people stuff as i felt like an utter hypocrite working on princes street on buy nothing day - going from dressing up as an alien and protesting there this day a few years ago to actually working on the bloody consumerist nightmare street... um well i'm a bit mixed up bout all that. anyway. then finally... shock-horror.. home, only three evenings late.
oh, in other news, apparently i'm a bit ill. or so i sound. i kept getting so much sympathy at work today because i had absolutly no voice. but my throat isn't even that sore or anything. i am feeling a wee bit flu-ish but i'm just hoping it doesn;t actually turn into anything as i hate being ill. i'm too high to be ill at the moment, too much excitement and plans to make and OH YAY! it is finally december so i'm going to allow myself to get a wee bit excited about christmas... and go through the german christmas market tomorrow. the lights, the decorations, the music - i really can't decide whether the loathing it or loving it is stronger.

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: little yellow spider

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Nov. 29th, 2004 03:24 pm

today i went for a 2 1/2 hour solitary walk. i planned to go to craigencalt and see adam and his new treehouse... well i found the beginnings of the new treehouse but no adam, oh well. its in a really nice location, kinda off a slope so there's actually steps up to it instead of a scary ladder. it's higher than the last one, so even more stunning views - you can see right across the barns and loch, right across the farm. and it's further away from the waterfall so no constant running water making you need to pee when trying to sleep. thats something i remember from about six years ago, lying across in a hammock above about four people sleeping on top of the trapdoor so no way i could go down to the loo...
i went for a wander round the fields and down through the faerie woods. their tiny carved castle is still there, but many of the faery sculptures have deteriorated in their two years of watching over the trees. i saw three swans in beautiful formation, standing in line along the shore then one by one gliding onto the water.
i sat for a while on a side of the loch i don't usually go, contemplating life from a different angle. 45 degrees can make things look very different.
instead of going home for some late lunch which would be the logical next step, i decided to continue my walk down to the deserted beach. the tide wasn't very far out so as i sat on the rocks waiting for the beginnings of sunset i could hear the waves lapping up below me, see the foam climbing closer and closer towards me. the sky was still in its subtle wisps of yellow peeking through the puffs of cloud, nothing like the vibrancy of last nights pink and orange. i turned my back on the start of the end of the day, back into the blue of the east and my ever later than planned lunch.

Current Music: devendra banhart - will is my friend

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Nov. 28th, 2004 09:56 pm

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear sa-am
happy birthday to you

hope you've had a fabulous day...

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